*current mood *

*moi *
::17 years old::
::a student of UP Manila::
::UPCM class 2010::

*psychobabble *
::currently dreaming under the stars::
::loves her parents to pieces::
::loves to cook::
::frustrated basketball player::
::frustrated volleyball player::
::frustrated pianist::
::frustrated guitarist::
::tubong mindanao::

*good reads *

*you are visitor number *
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*recent rants *
Progress Report
Murder at 169
Sa Wakas
My Birthday's Eve
Gaining Weight and Other Stuff
My Poor Attempt at Patriotism
Kitchie and Bamboo at OIC

*look into the past *
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Progress Report

so.. what have i been up to? not that you'd be interested but you know.. just so this blog won't rot. hihi.

anyhoo, just came back from my driving lessons - my 3rd day - and according to the instructor, i'm doing okay. i just need to get used to the traffic or something to that effect. i swear, jeepney drivers can be really bastos sometimes. they pop out of nowhere and don't even bother to signal. now i understand why my mom can't help but swear. wahehehe.. tomorrow's my last day and hopefully my mum will be brave enough to let me drive our car by next week. oh yeah, watch out as i conquer the road.. mwahahaha!!!

don't mind me. my mind's all messed up right now.

i had a butterfly tattooed on my lower back exactly a week ago. and no, it wasn't hena. it's the real thing and boy did it hurt like hell especially when the artist was doing the lining (the outline of the design). since chaperones/companions are not allowed inside the room, i had no choice but to wring my phone. good thing medyo durable siya otherwise i'd have crushed it to pieces. buti nalang din one of my friends was kind enough to humor me while the tattoo was being done. he kept on telling me (through text of course) to breathe normally and stuff like that. arrrgghhh.. i can't believe i survived the whole session but here i am, still alive to blog about it. as soon as i went out the room my mum asked me if it hurt and the artist quickly said it seemed as if i wasn't affected at all. oh, if he only saw my face while he was doing the lining.. it was all contorted and i was on the verge of screaming but i didn't want to embarrass myself. anyway, it's not that big. the butterfly's probably 3 inches tall and 2 inches wide and has different colors. right now it itches like hell, which is normal DAW since the healing process is almost coming to an end.. (ang panget ng pagka phrase nun ah.. hehehe)

grabe ang kati talaga.. roar!!!

i panicked a while ago when i was browsing through the list of students for the UP College of Medicine Class 2010.. i couldn't find my name!!! waaaaaaaaaaaa!!! all sorts of things came to mind right away like what if i failed zoo 30 or what if i have an INC for nat sci 50 or.. oh i don't know.. they forgot my name perhaps?? silly me, i failed to notice the word LATERALS enclosed in parentheses. hihihi.. and when i checked the message again, i found a separate list for Intarmed. whew! that was close. :D

the summer's nearly coming to an end. i went through the list of instruments needed for dissection and stuff like that (what the hell is a Jaeger's chart?!) and it just dawned on me that THIS IS IT. i'm going to be in med proper. there's no turning back. my goolai.. the things i get myself into. O_o

gillibean kissed the heavens @ 1:29 PM

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Murder at 169

oblivious of its presence, i went straight to the bathroom, wanting to brush my teeth and take a shower. as i brushed away, i looked around a bit and noticed a trail of blood. i followed it, not daring to imagine what i would find in the end. the closer i got to the source, the louder my heart pounded. alas...! there it lay in a pool of blood.

a dead mouse.

i approached it, thinking it was dead... but it suddenly moved. i stood transfixed to the spot. its breathing was laboured until finally, it stopped breathing altogether. i backed away, hurriedly finished brushing my teeth and went to the other bathroom to take a shower. only one thought filled my mind...

who killed the mouse?

(yes, i do know that this entry is utterly pointless. i just wanted to post something for the sake of posting. and yeah, this really happened.)

gillibean kissed the heavens @ 1:20 PM

Friday, May 06, 2005


one of my crushes in high school already has a girlfriend.. waaaaaaaaaaaa!!! not that i expected anything but you know.. wala lang. ganun lang talaga yung feeling.. crappy. but oh well, since he's happy, i'm happy na rin (naks! nag feeling martir.. haha). but yeah, i mean the girl's really mabait naman so whatever. it's okay. i'll get over them. mwahahahaha!!!

i haven't been able to blog lately because there's just nothing to blog about. i've become a bummer. nyahaha! kidding. but really, i've been stuck at home reading all my Nancy Drew books once again. it's fun but sometimes it gets too predictable. oh well..

on a lighter note, i started my bass guitar lessons last monday. i'm supposed to have another one in about 30 minutes but i've neither eaten lunch nor have i changed. ang saya! but tito (my instructor.. FC ko noh? hehe) said it's okay naman if i'm late since he's not that tied up naman. masakit sa fingers but oh, what fun! i've been practicing everyday. iba talaga ang feeling. ang saya!!! :)

last night we attended a family reunion (dad's side) and my goolai, was it something. we arrived in the middle of the program where people took turns on the microphone, giving tributes to their respective parents or grandparents (basta yung "first generation"). medyo mahaba-haba din yun since originally, 11 silang magkapatid. ngayon, 5 nalang. anyhoo, there was this one person (let's call him speaker no.1 because i don't know his name.. basta hindi namin immediate family member) who went up front and started talking about the usual stuff.. unity, upholding traditions, blah, blah.. then his speech took a sudden turn. he started talking about equality of siblings and stuff like that. he kept on saying that if ever he had done anything wrong, he was sorry and that he had no choice but to say it at that time since his siblings would not listen to him. yun pala, there's this dispute over a piece of land that their mother (who recently died) left. something about unequal distribution or something like that. as he was about to wrap up his speech, one of his siblings (i assumed) went up front and started rebutting him. then, without warning, the screaming and cursing started. grabe.. some people had to restrain them because they were going after speaker no. 1. good thing he left right away, otherwise i'm sure they'd have beaten the crap out of him. grabe noh? it's so ironic. he started out talking about unity and all that crap, and then ended it with the total opposite. i've never been fond of family reunions, and this is one reason why. hehe. but despite that, i don't want our relatives, no matter how distant, to hold grudges or fight over something that could very well be settled the peaceful way. and to think they're adults! haaay ewan ko ba.. buhay nga naman.

that will be it for now. gotta get moving for my bass guitar lessons. weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! :D

gillibean kissed the heavens @ 11:21 AM

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Sa Wakas

o diba parang album ng Sugarfree? hehe.

ang tinutukoy ko po ay ang debut ko. lahat ng pagod, stress, inis at kaba ay tapos na... wala na. and you know what? it wasn't that bad after all. in fact, i had fun being with my high school classmates again. it has been a while since i've seen most of them. super thankful ako na medyo marami din sa kanila ang nakapunta. i'll try to post some pics as soon as i figure out how to transfer them to my laptop. still have to learn a lot of things. hmph.


gillibean kissed the heavens @ 5:58 PM

Thursday, April 28, 2005

My Birthday's Eve

i couldn't think of any other title.


last week pumunta dito sila ge, maan, tinton, abe at gideon for a 4-day vacay. i'm too tamad to blog about it so read Maan and Ge's blogs nalang. hehe. like i told ge, at least now i can say i had fun during my summer break.


haaaay.. bukas na debut ko. i'm neither excited nor am i nervous. i dunno, i just don't give a monkey's fart if it will be a success or not because i never wanted to have a debut in the first place. but, because i'm the eldest grandchild and grand daughter (mother's side), i couldn't refuse my lola. since i didn't want to plan it, and neither did my mom, we decided to enlist the services of a debut planner. despite that fact, we're all still under so much stress (financial being the most stressful and disturbing of all). i swear, sobrang mahal talaga! even if we pay them so we don't have to worry about the physical arrangements and stuff like that, nakakapanghinayang pa rin ang pera.. roar!!! and to think we could be somewhere in Europe right now having the time of our lives instead of having to sit through a program that i don't even want in the first place. haaay naku.. i know i ought to be more grateful but i can't help it eh.. oh well. we'll see what happens tomorrow.

gillibean kissed the heavens @ 9:12 PM

Saturday, April 16, 2005


- went to my first ever punk show last night at the Punchbowl (which my cousin owns) courtesy of my bestfriend paola (who is NOT a poser). not the type of music i would normally listen to - unless i just came from a horrendous chem exam. yeah, totally fitting (i did like 99 red balloons by Goldfinger).

- witnessed my first ever mosh pit. i had fun watching the people beat each other up (un)intentionally.

- was amused and shocked most of the time because the vocalists of all the bands were dancing like crazy. i also kept on worrying that they would step on the wire and bump their heads on the drums, cracking them open in the process. *the horror* but seriously, i was a bit concerned that they would hurt themselves.

- was particularly amazed by this bassist from Iligan (i think). my goolai was he good! his fingers were unbelievably fast.

- saw lotsa people last night, including my supposedly ex-crush who, i realized just last night, is not an ex-crush. haaayy...

- bought my bass guitar this morning. Yamaha (black). it's soooo pretty! i'm gonna start my lessons next week or the week after next, depending on which is more convenient. i'm excited but nervous as hell.

- i love my parents. :D

gillibean kissed the heavens @ 9:22 PM

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Gaining Weight and Other Stuff

yep, i am. i eat every two hours even if i'm just watching t.v. (i've been reduced to watching Hiram, Spirits, Memories of Bali and Stained Glass... so sad) or imesh-ing myself to death. i've asked a couple of people if tumaba ba ako and they all answered yes. haaaay... i can hear the gym calling to me. it's time to get myself enrolled and start sweating my ass off otherwise i'm gonna say hello to my elem body soon. wouldn't want that to happen. *shudder*

i was on the verge of tears kanina when i saw my tita's doggie limping. he got run over by a jeepney a couple of weeks ago and his right hind leg's all broken. waaaaaaaaaa!!! =,( i swear, he looked so pitiful when he was trying to poo this afternoon. i love dogs and if i see one that's hurt (even just a little bit), the glands that produce my tears go into overdrive. haaay... and to think i wanted to be a vet. i don't think i'd be able to last through a whole day healing hurt and sick animals. i'd spend half the time crying. seriously.


haaay... matutuloy na talaga ang pag migrate ng mga pinsan ko sa Canada this june. i'm super depressed na even if it's still 2 months away. i mean, they're the closest thing i have to brothers and they're moving! crap. i'm going to miss them terribly. on the bright side, we have an excuse to go to Canada. still... i don't want them to leave. but i guess if moving there means they'll be able to live a better, more comfortable life then who am i to stop them, diba? but yeah, i'm just really gonna miss them. kasi when i'm with them feeling ko "ate" ako. may mga kapatid ako. i really envy those who have siblings because kahit papano, mas responsible sila. sanay sila na may kasama palagi at marunong sila magparaya. they're more selfless and mature because they look out for each other all the time (even though some don't wanna admit it). basta. iba talaga pag may kapatid. haaaaaaaaaayy... wish i had one.


on the bright side, my mom's good friend (who owns an internet cafe just beside our house) provided me with free internet access for the whole summer. DSL pa. yeyyy!!! i've been downloading songs like crazy these past few days since i accidentally (and stupidly) erased all the 258 songs in my iPod. *grumble*


naiinis ako sa sarili ko because when good things happen, yes i feel happy, but not without a twinge of guilt. it's like i think to myself "i don't deserve this" or "something bad might happen after this". i mean, why can't i just be thankful?! why can't i just be happy for all the blessings and not think of them as a prelude to some tragic event?? it really sucks, but it's in my system. i try to get it out but there are times when i just can't help myself. i know there's nothing wrong with expecting the worst, but doing so all the time? it's not a nice feeling. raaawwwrrrr!!! i swear i have to learn to be more grateful and not keep worrying or else i'll be seeing lines on my face pretty soon. haaaay...

current mood:

gillibean kissed the heavens @ 7:24 PM